MIKESBLOCK.COM

To Whom It May Concern:

I stand here now on the edge of oblivion. I look upon the face of death. Into the darkness I stare searching for a returning gaze. The echoes of my pain bounce along the planes of my existence constantly reminding me that there is no end to said pain. Every experience of my life flashes before my eyes sending tendrils of mourning to reach and grab hold of my soul. I seek no help out of this hurricane of strife. I look forward to seeing what is beyond this so called life. Perhaps, I will find something of use out there in the blackness. Something that I have never been able to find here in the light. Oh the memories that I have of my life so torn in between annoyances and great emotional trauma. The weirdest creatures we humans be, never satisfied with what we have and never knowing what we want. Constantly bickering amongst ourselves. Not communicating with those that we care about. We always turn things of importance into a game. We call it a game and act like it is so. Not even realizing that we are just hurting all involved. Oblivion looks so good right now; the darkness is so complete it actually draws the light from where I am now. I try to tell people the right things about how I feel and I try to act accordingly, but unfortunately it never seems to work out. Factors in the equation always seem to be forgotten by me and I never come up with the right answer. I know I’ve hurt many people, and confused many more. I just wish I could get it right just once. No matter how hard I may try I can’t get it right. And the darkness seeps into me even more. I’m a simple person. I think in the fact that I’m simply messed up. Do you know yourself? I mean truly know yourself? I know myself. I know all the facets of my personality, all of my flaws, all of my strengths. I know each and every thing that I am capable of doing and not doing. I do not hide many things from myself. The mistakes I make constantly in life I recognize them as they happen. Every little chain reaction I see the pattern there. Maybe I’m too analytical and too intelligent for my own good. I always try to predict and second guess everyone and everything. Like I said I never really mean to hurt people, sometimes though, it just comes natural. I always push people away and sometimes I make them scared. So I guess I should just let the darkness take over me now. If as it seems, I can not do anything right when it comes to dealing with people, should I even be around people? Would it not just be better if I was to remove myself from the face of the earth, so I can never hurt someone again, or make them irate at me making myself angry in some vicious cycle. Like I asked before do you know yourself? I know myself and I know that I don’t belong here anymore. I wasn’t born to stay alive. I should have been dead long ago but I guess there was some mistake and I continued living. An aberration on the face of the world there’s no one there for me in the universe that I have yet to find. So with sound body and mind I choose to leave. To step into the oblivion that I do not deserve in the least. To close all avenues of pain to my heart and soul. For once in existence I hope not to feel out of control. Envelop me sweet nothingness and let me sink into the abyss. Let all of the madness stop, let me off this ride of life. Once and for all just let me die.

Sincerely yours,
another lost soul